Confession #101

Confession

Published on May 29, 2021

Confession series by Beliterary, where we give you a platform to tell your story. This is also a gesture of appreciation to all the loyal fans and family who have been following us.

I miss you and I loved you once, but I am letting you go…

Every time I walk across the street where I used to wait for you to finish your work, I miss you a little. Every time I go back to our favourite coffee shop/cafe I miss you a little more. When I think about the time we used to have an endless conversation, it breaks my heart. I still remember how we used to make plans for travelling the world and fooling around like crazy people we are. I cry every time I am in my room and alone at nights because it reminds me of you. Well, this is where we had our late-night conversations and endless talks. This is where we made plans about our future and this is where you said you loved me.

grayscale photography of crying woman

Maybe it’s the reason why this is the only place where I feel the most lonely and also the safest because my intuitions know that you’ve been here before. Remember when we used to talk at night, it made me feel like the happiest person in the world because we were so close and I had never opened up to someone on such a deeper level. But, I guess that time wasn’t easy on us and It still bothers me to think how could love have just died.

It leaves me weak in my knees and breaks my heart into million pieces thinking that we could have had the world. But, I don’t know where we went wrong. I thought that you were the one for me until you weren’t around anymore. It traumatized me to be all alone all of the sudden. Without even letting me know, you just pushed me away till you needed me again. Something we shared, that was so beautiful turned into the bondage of misery. And I was left wondering where it all went wrong. There were nights when I thought it was my fault, and your indecisive behaviour was the outcome of my actions. I started thinking and overthinking all the words, all the actions and all my moves to track where I went so wrong that I had to lose you.

I Confess The Pain

All those plans were all made to be left behind and our future all shattered. I don’t know what it was, maybe it was not meant to be or we weren’t strong enough to handle the energy. But, I know for sure that if I had the chance to go back and redo everything from start I would definitely go back to you.

I got so many things to say to you and I wish I could have just fought for a reason for you to see how much I loved you, but, I get a feeling like I’m camaflouge and you surround my heart. It’s just crazy how you were mine just yesterday and now I have no idea who you are. I want to call you and tell you how much I miss you, I want to meet up with you and hug you so tight that I wish I could never let you go. But I also know that none of it would mean anything to you. I know it wouldn’t matter and all my feelings will make no sense to you. You have probably moved on, or you never loved me at all.

Every night, I fight the urge of getting back to you, making you mine again and getting you to stay because I know I can neither make you stay nor make you love me. If you never had any feeling for me and you faked it till you had enough and decided to leave, I hope that made you happy and gave you the satisfaction you needed because I cared enough to let you walk away and made sure that you were always satisfied.

Maybe it was just a game for you or maybe you had your best reasons that were accurate in your head. No matter what it was, I always wished you the best and wanted to see you grow. I wanted to support you, complete our goals with you, make sure you were getting the best of what’s great out there because I cared. So, I hope your decision was legit enough to make you happy because no matter how hard it is and even if it kills me I am moving on.

BUT I also have a confession…

close up portrait of woman

So, this is me telling you that I miss you. But, this is also me telling you that I will be moving on. I hope you get the best out there and fulfil all your dreams, goals and promises and I hope you find happiness in your life. But, please remember to stay away from me if you are happy. Stay far away and very far away from me if you are out there living your best life and are the happiest man alive. Please maintain your distance wherever necessary if you have the best life and all your dreams are coming true. Please make sure you erase all my memories from anywhere and everywhere if you have everything you ever wanted.

However, I also want to let you know that if you ever feel lonely and stressed and have no one to talk to then remember me. If you are going through a terrible season of your life and feel stranded in this big world, then call me without any hesitance. If you ever get your heartbroken and trust misplaced and are traumatized by things in life just come to me and I will always be there for you. I will be the shoulder you can lean on when you are weak and crying, I will be the light when it’s dark, I will give you a sweet gesture of friendship and a very soothing hug and make you your favourite Mint mojito and we will talk till the end of the world until you feel all okay again. I will catch you if you fall, be your rock when you stumble and be there for you no matter what. And that’s why I am telling you this with a heavy heart, that I miss you and I loved you once so I am letting you go. But, I will always be there for you no matter what.

Also Read: The Feeling

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October 1, 2022

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